An interesting thing happened to me on my walk back to work today from lunch. It started to sleet. At least I think it was sleet. The finer details of freezing rain, sleet, and hail have eluded me for most of my adult life, but whatever it was, it was painful. And so my inner monologue went something like this:
"Wow, it is cold."
"If I knew it was going to be this cold I might have worn a coat...or a hat...or both."
"Geez, is that sleet? or is it freezing rain? Whatever it is, $%^&#!!"
"Man, I wish I could just be in a skyway right now."
"Huh?! (Zoinks?!) but you hate skyways, they detract from the vitality of streets and Jane Jacobs said..."
"Screw Jane Jacobs! I mean not literally, she is dead, but that is a dying ideology. Jane would agree that at this moment, as shards of ice are pelting my face and ears and I can't feel my fingertips, the warmth, comfort, and peace of a year-round heated/cooled skyway would be respite for the soul."
"Well you have really gone soft, old man. If your younger self could hear you now, blaspheming for the sake of a 10 minute walk. You should be ashamed of yourself. I don't even know you anymore."
And it was at that point where I interrupted my inner monologue to exclaim:
"Hey! Listen you two! That's enough. I wear big boy panties (just like Wade) and I can make my own decisions. I hereby renounce skyways for the rest of this winter. So what if it is cold outside, for millions of years humans have existed in outdoor environments. What does it say about me that I can't stand a 10 minute walk with a little frozen water peppering my delicate epidermis? I am a man, come after me! I will walk outside ALL WINTER LONG. The street will be my arcade. I will have dominion over any random Mayo employee running across an intersection to a meeting with no coat on. I will not tremble in fear. I will be strong of spirit, and warm of blood. Mind over matter. Let's roll!"
So long story short, I have decided to swear off skyways this winter. For no other reason than to prove that it is possible and that I am still alive. I know many of you will not be joining me, and I am sad about that. But this is a matter of principle and pride. Do your worst, Mother Nature...and Old Man Winter. I can take it.